TOP TEN REASONS I AM NOT A VEGETARIAN.
9. Quest to wrap bacon around as many foods as possible would be disrupted.
8. Meat is murder, but you can't go to jail for it. I find that liberating.
7. That's one step closer to emo than I want to take.
6. Blinding hatred of chickens.
4. How can cows go on to Cow Valhalla if you don't eat them and proclaim them yummy?
3. Kentucky Fried Broccoli sounds horrible.
2. Vegetables are there to make meat more interesting.
1. No matter how rare you cook tofu, it never ever bleeds.